Or, how to avoid getting caught up in other people’s business BS.

I have written this from the perspective of a 121 dog professional, but the advice stays true to just about any small business.

Dog professionals are notorious for arguing with each other, picking on each other, and being generally toxic and bitchy to each other. Working for organisations that accredit and certify dog professionals, I have a front-row seat to all of it, even though I do my best to avoid getting involved.

The care professions, including those that work with animals are very taxing on the caregiver’s mental health. It is estimated that 70% of Vets have lost a colleague to suicide, because of the pressures that are placed upon them, logistically, financially, physically and mentally. Many small businesses in the animal professions, such as Behaviourists, Nutritionists, Hydrotherapists and more face many of the same pressures.

Taking care of our mental health is essential for ourselves, our clients and our loved ones.

Part of this is knowing when to stay in your lane, and allow others to do the stupid things, whilst happily going about your own business.

Let the toxic people be toxic. Don’t bother taking any notice of them. Insecurity, jealousy and a need to feel “better than” is what drives toxicity.

You never see inspirational people taking down other people. This is because they have no need to. They have faith in themselves, their ethics and their product and they do not need to put others down in order to climb on their shoulders.

The only exception is if you see abuse going on in another camp. Then it is a matter for your conscience to decide if you need to speak up.

There is absolutely no benefit in worrying about what other businesses get up to, or do, as they are not you. They are not your business. They can never be the same as you or do the same things that you do. Even similar businesses have distinct methods and ways of achieving outcomes, with you leading only one of them.

YOU are your business and your brand. As long as you conduct yourself in a professional and ethical manner, that is all you need to care about.

Clients are not stupid. They see what other people do, and they might not like it. Your ability to rise above difficulties will make them more at ease working with you compared to those who have acted unprofessionally.

Do, however, make friends with other non-toxic people. You will know these people. As they are also going about their business, not slagging off anyone else or causing any grief. These people are the ones who are golden. You encourage each other, bounce ideas off each other, and help each other out. A rising tide lifts all boats. Find those people who are part of the rising tide. Let those who are heavy with drama sink instead.

Avoiding Toxicity in Small Businesses: Lessons from Dog Training

Nurturing a positive environment in dog training and fostering a healthy atmosphere in small businesses have more similarities than you’d think.

Setting Boundaries: The Foundation of Respect

Setting clear boundaries is crucial in both dog training and small business. In both scenarios, the key is being consistent. Consistent boundaries, when communicated with kindness and clarity, foster an environment of mutual respect.

Whether it is teaching a dog not to jump on visitors or informing a client about your terms and conditions, or asking that your colleagues stick to your training ethics, the message remains the same:

If you respect yourself, then you respect your boundaries. You expect others to do so too. In return, you give them the respect to uphold their own boundaries.

If someone can not respect your boundaries, or if you do not agree to theirs, then they are not your client, your colleague, or anything else. Move on until you find a better match for your needs, and allow them to do the same. Do not get involved in bitching and arguing. Just keep moving.

Positive Reinforcement: Reward, support, and be rewarded and supported.

Force-free dog training methods centre around positive reinforcement, which rewards desired behaviours and allows dogs to decide their level of involvement.

These principles can be beautifully worked into small businesses. Just as a dog is more likely to repeat a behaviour that earns them a reward, people also thrive on recognition and praise.

Giving credit, inspiring, and showing gratitude for the outstanding work of your clients or colleagues has a huge effect on your mood and theirs. Share their achievements on your social media, and join in their joy when things go right for them. The right people will do the same for you.

Using this method, you can form a fantastic network of happy friends, clients, and colleagues.

Managing Negative Interactions: Distraction and Redirection

Avoiding negative behaviours and promoting positive ones in dog training sometimes involve the temporary use of distraction and redirection techniques.

This approach can be adapted to small business environments by cutting off interactions with toxic individuals (where possible) and redirecting energies towards more non-toxic, positive and constructive activities.

If another individual does or says something harsh, to or about you, do not retaliate. Instead work out how you can redirect their intention and use it to your advantage.

A recent example of mine is where another trainer publically made me look bad by saying they couldn’t find my qualifications anywhere, implying I was not qualified. This person has known of me for years and knows full well that I have worked hard to get to where I am. It is natural to feel hurt when people knowingly try to slight you, but rather than get angry, I simply thought “how can I turn this around to my advantage?”. I now have a shiny new page on the website detailing many of my achievements, so that people can find it in future. It also gave me the idea for this article.

Focus on those people and things who create a positive, cheerful atmosphere, much like steering a puppy towards a toy instead of your favourite shoes. And if you can, put those people away (along with your shoes) to the back of your mind, and unfollow, block, remove anything that is going to cause you unnecessary upset. The social media gods gave us these buttons for a reason. Use them lots.

Self-Care + Wellbeing = Resilience

Patience, understanding, and a calm state of mind are needed to teach and reinforce dog behaviours. Regular self-care helps achieve these qualities.

Similarly, in the small business world, taking care of your mental, physical and emotional wellbeing is paramount.

You can’t pour from an empty jug.

Make a point of taking time out just for you.

Take part in hobbies and activities that replenish your energy and bring you joy. This creates a buffer against the stress that toxic interactions and people can bring. Whether it’s spending time with your dogs, immersing yourself in writing, or art, reading, having a special day doing your favourite things, self-care is vital for keeping resilient and calm in the face of challenges.

Constructive Communication: Building Bridges

Toxic people will be mean. Toxic environments can be tough. Neither can be trusted to reflect an accurate representation of what is going on with you and your business.

If you have grown yourself a healthy and supportive community, you can safely ask them what you are doing well, and what you could be doing better. These people will want to help and guide you, and perhaps offer to help. You can do the same for them too.

This is where organisations such as ICAN, INTODogs or PPG can be very useful for dog professionals. Other occupations will have similar organisations or unions to join. Don’t try and go it alone, even if you are a sole trader. There are always people around who can help you share the emotional load. This leaves you mentally stronger, as well as giving you opportunities for learning and growth.

So…

Small business dynamics and politics, particularly in closely-knit communities, can often seem challenging. However, by setting clear boundaries, focusing on positive reinforcement training, and other enjoyable activities, managing negative experiences, practising self-care, and seeking constructive communication – we can create healthier, more positive workplaces for ourselves.

Just as a well-adjusted dog is a joy to be around, a small business that expects and maintains a non-toxic, respectful and fun environment (and will settle for nothing less) is a pleasure to be part of.

Things my brave Dad has taught me, with his Parkinsons and Dementia.